I have hurt – a lot.

I’ve had broken bones, had minor cancers, issues with chronic pain, failed relationships, did some hurtful things to a lot of people, been pushed over and down, and struggled my way through a career change and difficulties through my education, including being special ed student, who was told he’d never graduate.

One day my grandfather took me out to our vegetable garden, and he did something strange. He put my hand in the dirt. At the time, I thought he wanted me to be a farmer. And while driving a tractor is fun, I was so bored. Instead, what he was really showing me was that all of me was fundamentally connected to the work that I do. This continues to deeply inform my work.

Humbled beginnings

My quest to live with meaning and passion started early. As a junior in high school, I confidently wrote an “exhaustive” 500-word thesis entitled “What is real?” Buddha, Jesus, Moses, Kant, and Yoda all shook their heads. Not my best work.

Reading Nietzsche, Foucault, Kant, Aristotle, and Plato fascinated me as a philosophy and religion major in undergrad and in graduate school. Unfortunately, “Ancient Greek,” “logical fallacy detection,” and reading/writing in long convoluted sentences decreased my job and social marketability.

More importantly, the pursuit of knowledge didn’t get rid of the fact that I still felt different.

I began to volunteer through the local hospice who assigned me to facilitate grief groups for bereaved spouses. By facilitating, my job was really loving deeply vulnerable, honest, people. I was in the presence of the transforming power of people doing what’s most fundamental to our species: sharing our pain.

I dedicated my life to be with people during their suffering.

From an academic perspective, I pivoted to a Ph.D. program in Clinical Psychology. My doctoral work focused on how communication can foster rich, meaningful and connected lives. (Hint: spend time working on projects together).

Simultaneously, I studied the neuroscientific basis of social and moral behavior. Those pursuits awarded me several publications and positions at Loma Linda University and UCLA. More importantly, they serve as the underpinnings for identifying how to grow.

Now, I primarily spend my professional time helping people move toward what’s important to them. I continue to train in clinical behavioral analysis, ACT, and be in my own therapy and have my own mindful yoga practice. Additionally, I supervise master’s level clinicians and provide training in evidence-based practices across the United States and online.

I continue to hurt, AND I have an awesome life, education, and family. Pain is inevitable, and passion is possible. My hope for each of you is to be able to have the salty and the sweet.