When I turned 30, I was at the pinnacle on the outside. In that year, I married the at the time love of my life, walked for my PhD, and was selected for a prestigious postdoctoral fellowship studying the neuroscience of clinical behavior. On the inside, I was so nervous that couldn’t express anything that I wanted. I was confused such that any sniff of validation or direction from an authority figure would get me to jump. I was so scared of vulnerability that I could be shut down by the smallest glance of his lover at the time.

Time traveling forward several years, on the outside I developed a relatively successful practice and seemed to have a thriving social life and marriage. However, my relationships had turned largely to dust. I went through the motions. I became cold disconnected. I was very far away from the person I was wanted to be. Eventually I lost that relationship and hated the work that I created for myself.

My name is “Drew”, and I run, fight, and hide my way through life. I share my struggles so that you know that you’re not alone and so that you can start creating a world in which you are alive a possibility.

Humans have an incredible capacity to suffer. Over one billion people reported some type of mental or behavioral issue in 2016. The overall disease burden created by behavioral health issues is 7% and 19% of disability. We suffer greatly. And I want to transform this capacity to suffer into gold. You see the fact that we suffer let me know that we care about something or else we just check out.

Our current context makes it easy to suffer. We have so many things buying for our attention. It’s easy to pick up the phone and get lost for hours. Imagining a fantasy world is far more interesting and lovely and quick; then building the one in front of us. And this isn’t something to blame yourself for; it’s embedded in the way that we and way others are designing the world for us. We’re distracted, irritable, and lost. We need to discover a path forward.

All people suffer in some way. I can only speak to from my clinical and personal experiences, yet even people of considerable privilege suffer. Having power and not using it effectively is a type of suffering. Having power and not being able to do anything is also suffering. Being told by culture that you have power and yet you don’t have even the basic skills to use it effectively is suffering. These types of suffering are the constituents of a soon to be rowdy house.

My hope for you is that you start taking on the job of making a better world so that you can live in a free life. The goal of this project is to create as many free loving engaged passionate and courageous people on this earth. Let’s move away from mental health issues and suffering as a disease but as an opportunity for something grander part of human life. I invite you to join me on this project. Let me know how you’re suffering and what kind of world you’d like to create.